Mama loves her some Yoga! I found a teacher who really gets me, and by gets me I mean she lets me listen to Jay-Z while doing Warrior pose.

I noticed a funky smell the other day while lying in Child’s pose…and it was my mat!

All yogis have to admit that they almost never wash their yoga mats (we know who we are).

Here’s a little homemade antibacterial spray to keep your mat smelling minty and delish!

What you’ll need:

Spray bottle

¼ cup White Vinegar

3 tablespoons of Rubbing Alcohol

1 teaspoon Tea Tree oil

Bergamont Mint Oil

Directions:

Fill the spray bottle with the water and vinegar. Add Tea Tree oil and 13 drops of the Bergamont Mint essential oil. Fill the rest of the bottle with water. Spray the yoga mat evenly and allow it to air dry.

Namaste Bitches!

I know a lot of ya’all have given up your gym memberships in an effort to save your shekels.  Well I say good!

Screw doing exercise for the sake of fitting into single digit garments! I am not a goddamn gerbil and I will not run on a treadmill like a caged rodent. What’s next?  A maze with a slim fast shake at the end?  NO MORE!  Exercise should be fun, free, and make me feel like Gabriel Reese even if I look like an Orca with a learning disability.

I am only one lady* (I use the term lady loosely and by loosely I mean like the way we use sobriety in conjunction with Lindsey Lohan) and I am on the constant prowl for women who can help me with content for Things Your Mother Never Taught You. They say ‘Do your job BrookieP!’ and I would say ‘Why? You are so much better at it!’ So recently when my skinny jeans became my fat jeans I posed this question to some of my fitness forward friends…

What are some fun and inexpensive ways to stay fit? Here are the three best answers I got while trying to avoid doing my own work:

From Betsy: I often get lazy to go to the gym and get a sudden burst of energy around 9pm and don’t really know how to release it, so I started turning on music (I use the Hit List Music Channel on TV… and sometimes switch it up, maybe Show Tunes if I’m in a funny mood). I put on a pair of heels, yes with my pajamas, pick up 5 lb weights, and have a dance party by myself. It’s sooooo fun; you can dance however the hell you want and no one’s judging you. If you get low, you feel the burn in your thighs.

From Laura: Fitclick.com has like a zillion workout programs you can download for free and it lets you track everything on line. It’s like your own personal trainer minus the 100 bucks an hour part.

From …me… because I feel like a cheater if I don’t contribute something:
Grab a milk crate and turn on The Kardashians. Yeah, I am probably going to need to explain this one a little further. Folks you need 30 minutes of aerobic activity 4 times a week. I figure if I am going to let my brain deteriorate with reality programming I might as well not let my figure deteriorate too. Here’s the set up… Pick anything sturdy that is 12 to 16 inches off the ground and place it in front of the big black box that is slowly consuming your life and step it up*.  I find the simpler you keep the moves the better. Step up with one foot and then the other and go down the exact same way.  Fancy dance moves don’t really burn a lot more calories and after 30 minutes you will feel the burn in places you didn’t think should be open to the burn. At the point where I feel like quitting and laying on the couch with Ben and Jerry I like to let Kim’s booty act like my own personal incentive plan.

And if all else fails just order yourself the attached scale and call it a day!

* Not to be confused with ‘Step up’ a dance movie that makes you believe a little hip hop is all you need to fight off the powers that be in the ghetto… Thanks but I am gonna go with joining a gang and packin’ heat.