Oh Spain…

You guys invented my 2 favorite things in the world: Tapas and Latin Lovers. I am quite short in the Latin Lovers department so I have decided to go heavy on the Tapas.

In honor of the new FIFA World Cup Champions, I thought it would be appropriate to have a little Spanish shindig. Tapas are very easy to make, they require a small number of ingredients, and pack huge flavor. Here are some of my favorites…Tapas that is…not Latin lovers.

The Menu:

Raspberry-Peach White Wine Sangria:

• -1 cup Grand Marnier

• -1 bottle Sauvignon Blanc

• -12 oz of sparkling water

• -1 cup of fresh raspberries

• -2 peaches, sliced thin

• -2 tbsp of fresh mint, chopped

In a large pitcher, pour in the Sauvignon Blanc, Grand Marnier, and sparkling water. Stir in the peaches, raspberries and fresh mint. Serve it up, or over ice.

Chorizo & Quail egg Crostini with Romesco

• -1 Sourdough Baguette (cut in diagonal slices)
• -12 Quail Eggs
• -Mild Paprika
• -1 Cured ready- to- eat Chorizo
• -Romesco Sauce (traditional Spanish sauce made from nyoras, which are a sweeter and drier version of red peppers.)

Toast the crostini until golden brown. Spread 1 teaspoon of Romesco sauce on the toast and top with sliced chorizo.

Heat some olive oil on a skillet. Crack the eggs and cook on medium heat until the egg whites have set. Drain the eggs on paper towels and then lay them over the chorizo crostini. Lightly dust with paprika, salt and pepper, and chop some chives for color!

Sundried Tomato & Goat Cheese Tarts

• -Puff pastry
• -1 zucchini (sliced into thin rounds)
• -Sun dried tomatoes (finely chopped)
• -1 clove of garlic (crushed)
• -Goat cheese

Cut puff pastry into rounds and place on a dampened cookie sheet. Prick the pastry with a fork 3 times to make sure it doesn’t all puff up. In a skillet, cook the zucchini rounds until golden brown, and then add garlic. Remove from the heat. Place the zucchini and garlic mixture on top of each pastry circle. Add the sundried tomatoes and a spoonful of goat cheese.Make sure there is at least ½ inch border on each pastry round.

Bake for 10-15 minutes or until golden.

Triple Chocolate Fondue with Mantecados

• -White chocolate
• -Dark chocolate
• -Milk chocolate
• -Mantecados (traditional Spanish cookie. If you can’t find these I would recommend shortbread or pound cake)

Melt the chocolate on the stove and serve immediately. Dip the Mantecado cookies, green apples, strawberries, bananas or any other fruit of your choice.

I am with a man whose family does not drink. Yes the universe has a sense of humor*.

I can’t really say ‘Hey guys! Do you want some water…with your water?’

These jazzy little ice cubes dress up anything including water for my in-laws.

Directions:

Fill an ice cube tray with water half way and add any of the following to brighten up any drink!

- Crystallized Ginger

- Rose Petals

-Lemon/Orange peel

-Mint

- Fresh berries

*Gotta be honest with you ‘Universe’…not that funny to me.

When did it become acceptable to charge $15 dollars for a cocktail? Unless your fifteen-dollar cocktail is rimmed with gold flakes and filled with a magical self-esteem potion, then you have lost your damn mind. Oh, and don’t give me this ‘it’s a specialty cocktail’ B.S. In my opinion ALL COCKTAILS are special, and there is nothing stopping you from making your own ’specialty cocktail’ at home, so here is one to get you started.

What you’ll need:

1 can of lychees

½ cup of the lychee syrup

¼ cup of coconut milk

1 cup crushed ice

½ or ¾ cup of Triple Sec (depending on how strong you like it!)

Directions:

Mix all ingredients in a blender until you get a frappe consistency.

Bottoms up!

Happy Cinco De Mayo everyone, to celebrate we’re going on a virtual trip down South.  Just because the US Government advises we don’t go to Mexico anytime soon, doesn’t mean we can’t bring Mexico’s finest exports to us.  

Here on Things Your Mother Never Taught You we believe if you only learn how to make three things in your adult life they should be the following:

1. Margies:  Mexico’s alternative to Prozac.

2. Guacamole: Mexico’s alternative to vegetables.  (FYI-french onion dip does not fulfill that requirement just because it has onion in the title).

3. Piñata- After a few Margies you can beat it and instead of going to jail you get prizes…Mexico’s alternative to violent alcoholics!  You don’t really even have to learn to make this…just stuff it with candy.

OLÉ!

Margies:

Click here for a video by yours truly on how to make kick ass Mango Margaritas!

Guacamole:

What you need:

2 RIPE avocados with the insides scooped out
½ cup sour cream
2 tablespoons lime juice
1 teaspoon course salt
1 to 2 dashes of Tabasco…depending on your heat tolerance
½ cup chopped tomatoes
2 tablespoons chopped cilantro
3 tablespoons diced onion

What to do:

Mash everything together and ENJOY!

xo Brooke Peterson

Sometimes Mama just doesn’t have the time, money, or energy to do a full bar. My alternative has become making one signature cocktail in bulk…  Here are three libations that are easy to make in bulk. I’m like a Costco of cocktails!

Vodka Mint Lemonade

1 can frozen lemonade concentrate
36 oz. citrus soda (Sprite, 7-up, Fresca)
1 quart of Vodka…yeah baby!
4 tablespoons chopped mint
Toss everything into a pitcher and throw a couple of cups of ice into that puppy. Garnish the glasses with a sprig of mint or lemon slice.

Sangria

1 bottle cheap red wine
4 cups chopped fruit (lemons, oranges, limes, and stone fruits work best)
4 tablespoons brandy
Toss everything into the pitcher and throw it into the fridge for about 2 hours. Take it out and put in 4 cups of ice. Serve this baby up with a little orange garnish and pretend to be a hot Spanish chick for the rest of the evening.

Piña Colada

1 quart pre-made pina colada mixer
16 oz. of light rum (cheap kind ladies!)
3 tablespoon vanilla coffee creamer
1 small can diced pineapple
5 cups ice

Toss it all in the blender. While blending you will OBVIOUSLY sing If You Like Pina Coladas.  Serve your tropical orgasm in a glass and garnish this puppy with some pineapple.

It’s the Final Countdown… Dunna na na Da da da da da… Final countdown… It’s a week away! It’s a week away! It’s a week away!

THANKSGIVING!!!!

I am not spending it with my family so I can leave the valium and vodka at home. Or, at least the valium. I am, however, spending it with my partner-in-crime’s gianormous Jewish family. They’re not what you would call the Q.W.T. (quiet waspy type). And, since I am an overbearing Jewish mother’s worst nightmare (blonde, big rack and even bigger mouth… oh yeah, and a shiksa), I am going to be extra helpful on Thanksgiving, which works out well because I have Thanksgiving down to a science… a drunken, lethargic, tryptophan-induced, ‘God I will never eat this much again, OK just one more slice of pie’ science.

So, I thought for the next week here on Things Your Mother Never Taught You we would do a one week prep for the food superbowl otherwise known as Turkey Day.

Since we are a week out, today is going to be all about getting your bar in order. Why? Because liquor doesn’t go bad, and if your food goes to shit you can just over pour the cocktails until your uncle Bob starts getting handsy. Seriously Bob. It’s not ‘ok’ in Arkansas.  Put the mulled wine down and learn to hug appropriately.

At the seven-day mark in the T-Day countdown, this is the perfect time to make your infused vodka and for next week. I think that Cranberry Vodka sets the tone, plus it looks spectacular. Here’s what you have to know:

1. Grab 2 bags of cranberries, 1 pound cubed pineapple, and 2 quartered oranges and toss those puppies into your glass jug (use one with a spigot like the one pictured here.)

2. Dump two liters of cheap vodka on top and toss thee lid on thee jar. I like to play Russian techno music at this part and pretend to be a wild Ukrainian supermodel at secret underground dance club/distillery but it’s not really necessary for the vodka… More of a personal thing!

3. Put it on a counter out of direct sunlight and forget about it until next Thursday!

Your task today is done, you domestic goddess, you. Just follow my lead and we will have you all set for your day of thanks… You can thank me later.

P.S. Thanks to everyone who watched Rachael Ray yesterday. I made it five whole minutes on national T.V. without saying something inappropriate! Way to go BrookieP, way to go.

Greet your guests with a classic… The Hot Toddy. They’re a cinch to make and will fill your home with warm hearts and happy faces. All you need is whiskey, lemons, cinnamon sticks, honey and hot water. CHEERS!

A classic, old-school cocktail with a lotta kick—and Brooke will show the secret ingredient that will have guests begging for more.

Click here for the list of ingredients, preparation instructions and nutritional information.

Margaritas are the perfect Cheap n’ Easy™ cocktail. This recipe allows you to flavor them in many different ways and adjust the tequila depending on your taste and desired effect!

Prep Time 5 min.
Serves 1

Ingredients

Per Serving

• Calories: 334 kcal
• Carbohydrates: 51 g
• Dietary Fiber: 2 g
• Fat: 0 g
• Protein: 0 g
• Sugars: 45 g

Is it possible to find good wine on our Cheap n’ Easy™ budget? You bet your bottom dollar it is. Check out these truly scrumptious selections.