*Einstein did that one Dad, not Einsteinpapadopoulus.

What you’ll need:

• 1 box of penne pasta
• 1 cup of pitted black olives, diced
• 2 cups of spinach
• 1 ½ cups of mozzarella cheese
• 1 jar of marinara sauce
• ½ cup of Parmesan cheese
• 2 chicken breasts, diced into small cubes
• 1 cup of crumbled feta cheese
• olive oil

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Bring a large pot of water to a boil, and make sure you salt the water. Add the penne pasta and cook for about 6-8 minutes.

Heat the olive oil in a large skillet, add the chicken and cook until the outside has a deep caramel color. In a 9 x 13 pan or casserole dish, combine the cooked penne pasta, chicken, marinara sauce, spinach, black olives, feta cheese and 1 cup of the mozzarella cheese. Even out the ingredients and layer the top with the remaining mozzarella cheese. Sprinkle the Parmesan cheese on top and place in the oven.

Cook for about 20 minutes, until the cheese has melted and all the ingredients have been heated through.

In a perfect world all things are created equal and work the same, but let’s face it we don’t live in a perfect world and some things are just WAY better than others.

To prove my latest hypothesis, I went into my lab (the kitchen) and tried out the new measuring spoons that Pyrex recently came out with. I thought measuring spoons were simple enough, how could one set really be better than another… Well, I was WRONG. Pyrex has re-invented the spoon…! These magnetized bad boys snap together so its impossible to lose the quarter teaspoon spoon (NOTE: It is not a coincidence that none of my recipes have a quarter teaspoon of anything as I haven’t been able to find that thing since ‘97!).

Do yourself a favor and scoop up (hehehe!) a pair of these for yourself.

One final bonus point for these little puppies… They will entertain your toddler or husband, oh wait I didn’t mean to repeat myself, for hours.  Ok I am totally lying about the husband/toddler thing-

I played with these things for hours. They are like magnetized pick up sticks… I need to get out of the house more.

I am with a man whose family does not drink. Yes the universe has a sense of humor*.

I can’t really say ‘Hey guys! Do you want some water…with your water?’

These jazzy little ice cubes dress up anything including water for my in-laws.

Directions:

Fill an ice cube tray with water half way and add any of the following to brighten up any drink!

- Crystallized Ginger

- Rose Petals

-Lemon/Orange peel

-Mint

- Fresh berries

*Gotta be honest with you ‘Universe’…not that funny to me.

When did it become acceptable to charge $15 dollars for a cocktail? Unless your fifteen-dollar cocktail is rimmed with gold flakes and filled with a magical self-esteem potion, then you have lost your damn mind. Oh, and don’t give me this ‘it’s a specialty cocktail’ B.S. In my opinion ALL COCKTAILS are special, and there is nothing stopping you from making your own ’specialty cocktail’ at home, so here is one to get you started.

What you’ll need:

1 can of lychees

½ cup of the lychee syrup

¼ cup of coconut milk

1 cup crushed ice

½ or ¾ cup of Triple Sec (depending on how strong you like it!)

Directions:

Mix all ingredients in a blender until you get a frappe consistency.

Bottoms up!

I love the fair. Live stock, belly shirts, and Ferris wheels.

As far as I am concerned that is pretty much the formula for a good time…it’s just missing one thing…the piece de resistance of the fair formula of fun…THE CHURRO.

Is it a donut? A Mexican coffee accompaniment? Something invented by the spice company that makes cinnamon as way to increase sales? Who cares! Let’s make these bad boys!

When you think of churros, the word complicated comes to mind. As it turns out these Spanish little treats are not that hard to make. The key to making great churros is the oil temperature.

What you need:

• 2 teaspoons of Sunflower oil
• 1 cup of all- purpose flour, sifted
• 1/4 tsp of salt
• oil deep for frying

Boil a cup of water along with the sunflower oil and salt. Add the flour and stir constantly until a smooth dough forms.

Heat the oil until it reaches 350°F.

Transfer the dough into a pastry bag with a star-shaped tip.

Make long strips of dough in the oil and cook until browned.

Remove the strips from the oil and place on paper towels to drain excess oil.

Sprinkle with sugar, and enjoy!

To make them a little more interesting, try injecting them with melted Nutella or milk chocolate.

(Cooking syringes are available for purchase online or at most food specialty stores).

If I am going to have to lie to my trainer* about eating bread, you better bet your ass that I am eating it with butter. I assume bread and butter to be a dietary luxury for dinner party guests as well, so I figured I better make it extra snazzy.

If you’re looking for a jazzed up way of serving butter this is the perfect little trick:

Wrap softened butter in rose petals (any color) and place in the refrigerator for a few minutes until chilled.

The rose petals act as little vessels while infusing the butter with the fragrant scent of the rose.

Remove the petals from the fridge and serve!

* Steve if you are reading this I just want to say…THAT I AM NOT SORRY! I don’t want to live in your carb free world of perfect abs. As as long as we are being honest with each other, every time you leave me at the end of a work out to do cardio on the honor system…I don’t honor it! I like bread and hate running…sue me.

Happy Cinco De Mayo everyone, to celebrate we’re going on a virtual trip down South.  Just because the US Government advises we don’t go to Mexico anytime soon, doesn’t mean we can’t bring Mexico’s finest exports to us.  

Here on Things Your Mother Never Taught You we believe if you only learn how to make three things in your adult life they should be the following:

1. Margies:  Mexico’s alternative to Prozac.

2. Guacamole: Mexico’s alternative to vegetables.  (FYI-french onion dip does not fulfill that requirement just because it has onion in the title).

3. Piñata- After a few Margies you can beat it and instead of going to jail you get prizes…Mexico’s alternative to violent alcoholics!  You don’t really even have to learn to make this…just stuff it with candy.

OLÉ!

Margies:

Click here for a video by yours truly on how to make kick ass Mango Margaritas!

Guacamole:

What you need:

2 RIPE avocados with the insides scooped out
½ cup sour cream
2 tablespoons lime juice
1 teaspoon course salt
1 to 2 dashes of Tabasco…depending on your heat tolerance
½ cup chopped tomatoes
2 tablespoons chopped cilantro
3 tablespoons diced onion

What to do:

Mash everything together and ENJOY!

xo Brooke Peterson

Click here for the list of ingredients, preparation instructions and nutrition information.

Click here for the list of ingredients, preparation instructions and nutrition information.