Every time I walk into the Saks 5^th Avenue beauty department I feel as if there must be some undiscovered elixir, cream, or cleanser that will most definitely make me more desirable. Just when one of the snooty little ladies behind the counter convinces me that she knows what “it” is, and that it is worth a second mortgage on my home to buy said cream, I snap back to reality and whip out my iPod, blast me some Christina Aguilera ‘Beautiful’ while I mosey on home shaking my ass extra hard near construction zones in hopes of a cat call to really seal the deal.

But alas one still needs a bit o’face wash and I have found this little recipe makes a great one!

Packed with anti-oxidants, the elderberry is a small but mighty berry often used as an anti-inflammatory.

What you’ll need:

6oz. Unscented base cleanser

½ Organic Cucumber

8 drops of Elderberry Extract

5 drops of Grapefruit Essential Oil

Directions:

Chop the cucumber and puree it in a blender. Strain to get rid of the seeds. In a container of your choice add the base cleanser, cucumber liquid, elderberry extract, and grapefruit oil. Mix to incorporate and cleanse away!

This cleanser is perishable, so make sure you store it in the fridge!

Everybody needs a season changer. You know a little something something that lets you celebrate the different moods of the year.  My season changer for summer used to be busting out the super short dresses and bottle of self tanner, but lets be honest no one wants to see a 9 month pregnant lady trying to ‘bring the sexy’ into summer.  So I have found this years season changer and because it has gotten me as many compliments as my inappropriate summer dresses got me dates I am sharing it with the Things Your Mother Never Taught You sisterhood.

This little straw black and cream Havana hat goes with everything! I have been wearing it with jeans and tees, casual dresses, and sometimes naked while singing Michael Jackson in my bathroom but that is not really a fashion play…more of a personal thing.  Here is the real kicker… it is less than 10 bucks and available online from Forever 21.

p.s. Hats, like men, are tricky. I wore this sparkly hat for an entire evening and no one said anything. Generally I would say that this evidence negates my ability to make a valid recommendation on hats, however I am so confident in the Havana hat that it overrides my obvious previous poor headgear record. 

In life some things ARE black and white:

-Oreo’s

-Zebras

 -Arizona’s new immigration laws which are blatantly racist and hateful…. What?  Take a joke Republican Readers**!

If you are looking to fill up a big wall space in your house on the cheap try the black and white wall.  A black and white book of photography will go a LONG way. These books can be a little pricy but one of these books is usually cheaper than the least expensive piece of art you can find commercially and will fill a lot more space.  

Target now offers frames that have mats inside them. Fanfreakintastic!

If you want to avoid a lot of the headache of hanging multiple pictures and give yourself the option of rearranging and adding in pieces as you add to your collection try using shelves. 

**2 words not often found next to each other. Oh Shazam!

I love red lipstick because it accomplishes so much with so little. For 5.99 a tube (danke, Loreal) you can put the sexy back in your step and make your bad self stand out at night—just ask any ‘working lady.’ It can leave a territorial marker on your mate—better than a golf club, Elin.* And now it can be used to decorate your abode. Just spell out holiday-appropriate words on mirrored surfaces around your casa and wait for “Oh my god, you’re, like, sooo creative!” compliments from your peeps.

* On a side note I would like to say that as a general policy Things Your Mother Never Taught You does not get involved in domestic disputes, but Tiger, you don’t cheat ON the hot Swedish nanny, you cheat WITH the hot Swedish nannny.

The winter weather can dry you out quicker than a trip to Betty Ford, so exfoliating and mosturizing are key to staying snuggley soft. I love sugar scrubs because they dissolve in the shower and they make me feel like a cupcake in a good way. Here is my favorite homemade sugar scrub for snow season:

Brown Sugar Body Scrub

-2 cups Brown Sugar

-1 cup course white sugar

-2 tablespoons peppermint oil

-1 cup baby oil

Mix everything and place in glass jar with a lid in your shower. Scrub and rinse!

P.S. This makes a great little gift. Just wrap a little bow around it and call it a day!