• Well, it is officially that time of year.  Summer, the season for Bbq’s and inappropriate clothing (yeah, you, no one wants to see that).  I am going to focus on the food here and introduce you to a wonderful summertime appetizer.  My crab snow cone served on ice, so hold the red dye #5 and get choppin!

You’ll need:

• 1 pound chopped crabmeat
• 1 bell pepper, seeded and finely chopped
• 2 cups finely chopped mango flesh
• 1/2 cup finely chopped red onion
• 1/4 cup chopped green onions
• 2 lemons, juiced
• 1/4 cup chopped cilantro leaves
• 1 teaspoon specialty salt (recommended: Hawaiian Lava salt…’cause I am fancy like that)
• 1 chopped serrano or jalapeno pepper, or to taste
• 1 teaspoon fine sugar
• Dash hot sauce
• Ice, for serving
• Special equipment: 2 1/2-inch metal cones

Directions:

Combine all of the above ingredients, except the ice, and refrigerate for at least 1 hour.

Fill a large serving glass bowl with ice.

Stuff 8 to 10 deep metal cones with the crab mixture. If metal cones are not available, you can make your own snow cones out of wax coated paper. Arrange the cones in the ice bowl and serve.

Happy Cinco De Mayo everyone, to celebrate we’re going on a virtual trip down South.  Just because the US Government advises we don’t go to Mexico anytime soon, doesn’t mean we can’t bring Mexico’s finest exports to us.  

Here on Things Your Mother Never Taught You we believe if you only learn how to make three things in your adult life they should be the following:

1. Margies:  Mexico’s alternative to Prozac.

2. Guacamole: Mexico’s alternative to vegetables.  (FYI-french onion dip does not fulfill that requirement just because it has onion in the title).

3. Piñata- After a few Margies you can beat it and instead of going to jail you get prizes…Mexico’s alternative to violent alcoholics!  You don’t really even have to learn to make this…just stuff it with candy.

OLÉ!

Margies:

Click here for a video by yours truly on how to make kick ass Mango Margaritas!

Guacamole:

What you need:

2 RIPE avocados with the insides scooped out
½ cup sour cream
2 tablespoons lime juice
1 teaspoon course salt
1 to 2 dashes of Tabasco…depending on your heat tolerance
½ cup chopped tomatoes
2 tablespoons chopped cilantro
3 tablespoons diced onion

What to do:

Mash everything together and ENJOY!

xo Brooke Peterson

Not sure if ya heard troop number 1673 but there is a recession on ladies. You charging 4 bucks for a box o’ thin mints is highway robbery.

I am putting you in time out with Goldman Sachs.  

But alas I can not make Girl Scout Pie without thin mints….so give me 2 boxes, I’ll give you 8 dollars, and I can get my fix an you can laugh at me and me and call me a sucker….I need my cookie pie!

Ingredients:

-1 box of thin mints

-1/2 cup melted butter

-1 pint mint chocolate chip ice-cream softened (leave it on the counter for 15 minutes or in the fridge for an hour)

-1 container of cool whip

-1/4 cup crème de menthe liquor

Directions:

1.   Finely crush 1 sleeve of cookies and save the other for garnish or eat them whilst making said pie because you have no self-control.

2.   Mix crumbs with ½ cup melted butter and press into a non-stick pie pan. If you don’t have a non-stick pie pan you can use an 8×8 casserole dish but start thinking about buying a pie pan. Nothing says grown-up like a pan pie pan and good credit…and 1 out of 2 ain’t bad.

3.   Throw the crust in the freezer for at least ½ an hour or until firm.

4.   Combine the crème de menthe liquor with the cool whip and set in the fridge.

5.   Spread ice cream over the crust

6.   Spread the cool whip over the top and place into the freezer for at least 2 hours.

7.   Garnish with crushed cookies, shaved chocolate, or if feeling especially tacky some good ol’ chocolate sprinkles.

8.   Call your best friend/husband/mother and tell them you just ate an entire pie. See if they can bring you Pepto….and your dignity.

Summer’s around the corner and everywhere you look someone is offering you their take on chilled soup, you’ve got your traditional gazpacho soups, avocado soup, ginger soup, cucumber soup, assuming you’re not Bubba Gump, I think you get it.  Here at Things Your Mother Never Taught You, we like to give you options, so for those of you not WOWed by the prospect of blended tomatoes for you fine people I bring you my Fire and Ice Peach and Jalapeno Soup Ice Bowls with Cotton Candy, an off beat starter with a bit of WOW factor….it’s a like taking a bedazzler to your shin-dig.  This little sparkler is featured on my show tonight…which I know you will all be watching with baited breath.

Ingredients

• 3 cups peeled, pitted and diced peaches
• 1/2 cup peach schnapps
• 1 cup dry white wine
• 1 handful mint leaves
• 1 jalapeno, seeds removed depending on desired heat
• 3 tablespoons sugar
• 3 tablespoons heavy cream
• Crystalline sugar, for garnish, optional
• Cotton candy, for garnish (can be found in the candy aisle of most grocery stores)
• Special equipment: shot glass ice tray (This tray freezes water to make ice shot glasses, or “ice bowls”, and are available at most kitchen supply stores)

Fill a shot glass ice tray with water and freeze overnight.

Combine all the above ingredients in a blender and puree. Set in refrigerator for at least 1 hour to allow all the ingredients to meld. It also will help to keep your ice bowl from melting if your soup is extra chilled. On small plates add about 2 tablespoons of crystal sugar. Put the ice shot glasses on top of the sugar. Pour the soup into the shot glasses, garnish with cotton candy and serve.

Common!  What are you waiting for, bedazzle that chilled soup of yours! Brookie P style!

• 2 cups crushed graham crackers
• 5 tablespoons softened butter
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar, plus 2 teaspoons, divided
• 6 ounces pop rocks 
• Nonstick cooking spray
• 1 cup heavy whipping cream
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 cup lime juice
• 12 ounces cream cheese, room temperature

Directions:

Combine the crushed graham crackers, butter, and 2 teaspoons sugar in bowl and mix until incorporated. Delicately fold 3 ounces of pop rocks into the mixture.

Spray the bottom of a 9 by 13-inch cake pan with nonstick cooking spray. Gently press the crust into the pan and freeze for 30 minutes.

With a handheld mixer or in a standing mixer with whisk attachment, whip the heavy whipping cream. While mixing slowly add in the remaining 1/2 cup sugar, salt, lime juice, and cream cheese. Beat until the ingredients are fully incorporated.

Remove the crust from the freezer. Spread the cream cheese mixture over the crust, level the top and freeze for 1 hour. Remove the cheesecake from the freezer and sprinkle the remaining 3 ounces of pop rocks on top. Cut into small squares and serve.

One thing I have learned as an adult is that Champagne makes everything better.   Another thing I’ve learned is that Champagne doesn’t always fit into your budget, so when you are shopping for your next bottle of bubbly, keep in mind that Prosecco, the Italian White Sparkling Wine, is a great and less expensive alternative that doesn’t skimp on fine taste.

I’ve always found that dressing any bottle up in a bucket of ice and a flower really sets the mood without breaking the bank.  Tonight when you are cozying up to your loved one (to watch Private Chefs of Beverly Hills on Food Network, wink wink) pull out a bottle of bubbly and put that baby on ice.  

I think Bette Davis put it best when she said “There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.”

I get emails via the website all the time asking for tips for how to change up your wardrobe on the cheap and as you know this site is dedicated to entertaining on a budget so today I bring you “The Swap N Meet Party.” This Party is basically the collision of all things awesome: Clothing, Friends, Cocktails, and Food….I mean, is there anything else?

Here’s how it goes: Invite a bunch of friends over who are relatively the same size, set a price point and number of items for each guest to bring and swap away!

We all know that no party is complete without snacks and cocktails, for this party I suggest an oldie but goodie, The Dirty Martini, as this puppy won’t stain any of the clothes if it spills.

Brookie P’s Dirty Martini:

2 oz vodka

1 tbsp dry vermouth

2 tbsp olive juice

2 olives

It’s a great way to freshen up your closet and spend some quality time with your friends!

For those of you still trying to keep up with your New Year’s Resolution Torture Diet, I say stop trying to be Kate Moss (it’s no longer 1994 people) and make yourself a salad that doesn’t consist of lettuce and lemon juice.  Cantaloupe Salad is one of my favorites and very easy to make.

 What You Need:

2 cups diced cantaloupe

1-cup feta cheese

1 handful chopped mint

8 ounces diced proscuitto

2 tablespoons olive oil

½ teaspoon sugar

¼ teaspoon salt

Directions:

Combine ingredients and garnish with mint!  This is an easy one.  Here at Things Your Mother never Taught You we believe there is no need to be complicated unless you are the protaganist in an Avril Lavine song.

This recipe has strawberries, chocolate, bread and vodka in it.  I refuse to try to sell anybody on this.  For once in my life I can say my work speaks for itself.

Strawberry Chocolate Bruschetta for Grown Ups

2 Cups diced strawberries

½ cup vanilla flavored vodka

¼ cup sugar

2 tablespoons finely chopped mint

¼ cup Nutella or comparable chocolate spread

1 loaf baguette sliced in 1/3 inch slices- This recipe is best done on classic French baguette. Ask your baker to slice it for you if you can.

Directions

1. Combine first 4 ingredients on the list and let soak for at least 30 minutes…the longer the better baby!

2. Lightly toast baguette in the oven. About 5 minutes on 350 should do it. You want your bread still slightly chewy.

3. Spread Nutella on toast and top with 2 tablespoons of strawberry mixture

4. Serve in small lunch sacks (sooo cute!) with other types of bruschetta I suggest putting another slice of bread on top with more Nutella to keep it stuck together like a sandwich!

Tonight is the big launch of PRIVATE CHEFS OF BEVERLY HILLS on Food Network and Mama is getting pretty damn excited!

This week I had the opportunity to see the premiere episode with my fellow Private Chefs and some wonderful members of the blogosphere.  The show is WILD, it’s funny, it’s informative, and did I mention it is WILD.

Keeping in line with the show, the Private Chefs provided the food for the event!   I went with an adult themed picnic basket which included the Brookie P take on a BLT, potato chips dipped in chocolate and a alcohol drenched creamsicle shooter.

On a personal aside, I want to say thanks so much to everyone who has helped along the way to make my dream of getting to work with Food Network come true.  I am one lucky girl…and I can say with a sure heart that my Mom would have been proud.

So hang onto your hats Things Your Mother Never Taught You friends…it is going be a fun season with Food Network!

Here is a decadent little snacker I made at the premeire party…y’all know that I don’t believe in calories and to prove it I give you the chocolate dipped potato chip!

CHOCOLATE POTATO CHIPS!

INGREDIENTS:

1 bag Ridge Cut Potato Chips Lightly Salted

1 bag of Chocolate Chips (I like dark but you can use whateva)

¼ cup coffee creamer (it adds dimension to the flavor…I like hazelnut)

4 tablespoons butter

A dash of Sugar

 DIRECTIONS:

1.   Place chocolate chips, creamer, and butter into a microwave proof bowl and microwave on LOW power for up to 3 minutes or until melted.

2.   Dip potato chips one at a time in to chocolate mixture until the chip is coated half way. Do Not try to to the whole potato chip. Besides sending you into a diabetic coma it tastes better when you only do half. Trust a sister…field experience.

3.   Place on wax paper lined baking sheet and Sprinkle with sugar.

4.   Toss into the freezer for at least thirty minutes.

5.   Serve it up or store ‘em in the fridge.

P.S. These make a fantastic snack for watching Private Chefs of Beverly Hills tonight on Food Network! I know…Shameless!!