Looking for the best way to serve lemonade, brighten up an old dingy table, or infuse some springtime color into your house full of Winter blues?   Colored serving trays!! These wooden trays from West Elm start at $22 and will take you through the Spring in style!  Also, they might also plant the seed in your partners head that you’d like all meals breakfast in bed every single day every once in a while.

I am not sure if the cooler weather in the fall makes people wanna cuddle more or what, but there seem to be a disproportionately high number of birthdays in the Spring.  

Some are close friends, but some of the birthday parties I have attended lead me to dream up a use for that underused hall closet.  I call it my I don’t know you well enough to get a personalized gift closet.  Also known as the shit I forgot we had to go to a dinner party, thanks for telling the police that I was totally at your house at all night, congrats on your conversion wickenism closet.

My name is Brooke Peterson and I forgot your birthday.

Here are the things you need to give gifts on the fly so people like you and think you are exceptionally thoughtful. 

1. A supply of stock gifts such as wine, candles, and picture frames.  I also like to keep a few unexpected things that I now know I can expect to use like board games, cds, photo books by Taschen.

2. Ribbon and scissors

3. Bags, wrapping paper, tissue and tags

4. Blank cards and Pens

All of these item can be bought at the dollar store with the exception of the stock gifts.  

Now you too can give gifts to people you would have otherwise told …”I totally had something for you but I left it on the counter at home!”

For those of you still trying to keep up with your New Year’s Resolution Punishment Diet, I say stop trying to be Kate Moss (it’s no longer 1994 people) and make yourself a salad that doesn’t consist of lettuce and lemon juice.  Cantaloupe Salad is one of my favorites and very easy to make.

 What You Need:

2 cups diced cantaloupe

1-cup feta cheese

1 handful chopped mint

8 ounces diced proscuitto

2 tablespoons olive oil

½ teaspoon sugar

¼ teaspoon salt

Directions:

Combine ingredients and garnish with mint!  This is an easy one.  Here at Things Your Mother never Taught You we believe there is no need to be complicated unless you are the protaganist in an Avril Lavine song.

Everyone always says to get flowers in the house for Spring…  Well that can get a little pricey every week, so one of my must have products this Spring are these beautiful decorative branches from Saveoncrafts.  These branches give you a fresh look in place of flowers and last ALL SEASON!!!

I love candles all year long but the weather in the Spring (look up, see rain!) can make it impossible to keep candles on the porch. These new LED candles give you great ambient light for any Spring night and never burn out or care if they get wet!  The one I found is from Kmart and at $9.95 you can buy a few!

One of the tough things about Springtime is attempting to guess what the weather is going to bring us.  You’re really letting me down Al Roker.  Enter the Fire and Ice Pit!  It rocks!  It solves all those unpredictable weather problems and at $59.95 is a big piece added to your outdoor area with only a little commitment from your wallet.   Since it is chilly today, check out my S’Mores video (filed under Videos) and go camping in your backyard!  OK, ok I make those in the microwave, but it’ll put you in the mood.  Sorry, but I dont have a video of beers in an ice bucket.  That’s for you to figure out on your own.  

NOTE: Things Your Mother Never Taught You does not condone using the firepit indoors, as “rad” as that seems dont do it.  We wont be posting quick tips to get soot out of your walls anytime soon.

Even though my site is called Things Your Mother Never Taught You, I have to admit that I learned almost everything I know from my mother. Wait, that’s not true. I learned how to do everything ‘the right way’ from my mother. I would then take said lessons and cut every possible corner from time to money, and do it the ‘Oh (insert sigh here) Honey’ way. I once pulled out hot glue to hem my pants, and by her reaction, you would’ve thought that I’d tied off and shot myself up with heroine while simultaneously making internet porn and clubbing baby seals.

That being said, even she had some tricks to getting your festive on for the holidays without climbing a god damn ladder or using anything inflatable resembling a turkey, pilgrim, or a cornucopia (which, let’s just be honest, always ends up looking like a penis with a spray tan that curves slightly to the left.) One of my Mom’s signature moves was decorating with candlelight. I think our Mormon neighbors thought we were holding a seance every time T-day rolled around. Which, in my mother’s own words, “is fine because people who don’t believe in happy hour are not to be trusted.” On both points, I agree with mama… Yes to candles, yes to happy hour.

Here are my Mom’s best tips and rules for lighting up your pied-à-terre. In the words of my utterly fantastic mentor and mother, Roma Peterson, who is no longer with us, “Look alive baby girl! This is the fun stuff!”

These are Roma’s Rules:

1. People focus on the entryway to your house, and on the dining table. Start at the entryway with luminaries. Grab a handful of lunch bags and fill the bottom of each one with an inch of sand. Place a tea light inside and viola you got yourself a fancy lit up walk way. Do not be a moron and put these inside unless you want to your casa to go up in flames.

2. In the entryway, if you want something singular with a lot of ‘Wow’ factor, try doing glass containers filled with water and floating candles. If you can’t find floating candles, you can float regular pillar candles in cranberries.

3. Tabletops are always best done with candles with two reasons:  First, everyone looks better by candlelight. Some people should never be shown in high definition T.V., and the same applies for the halogen lighting in your dining room. Your Aunt Kate’s ‘natural lip enhancement’ will still look like Lisa Rinna after a hard night, but it will be more bearable in the amber glow of candlelight. Trust me. The second reason for candles on the table is that they make unbelievable chic and cheap centerpieces. Some of my favorite ways to use them: Write letters on them for sayings, hang them from branches in small mason jars, and tuck tea lights into fruits and pumpkins.

Sometimes Mama just doesn’t have the time, money, or energy to do a full bar. My alternative has become making one signature cocktail in bulk… ‘cause my alcoholic friends are expensive and my food tastes better if you’re drunk! Here are three libations that are easy to make in bulk. I’m like a Costco of cocktails!

Vodka Mint Lemonade

1 can frozen lemonade concentrate
36 oz. citrus soda (Sprite, 7-up, Fresca)
1 quart of Vodka…yeah baby!
4 tablespoons chopped mint
Toss everything into a pitcher and throw a couple of cups of ice into that puppy. Garnish the glasses with a sprig of mint or lemon slice. If you are going big time do both ‘cause you are crazy like that!
Sangria

1 bottle cheap red wine
4 cups chopped fruit (lemons, oranges, limes, and stone fruits work best)
4 tablespoons brandy
Toss everything into the pitcher and throw it into the fridge for about 2 hours. Take it out and put in 4 cups of ice. Serve this baby up with a little orange garnish and pretend to be a hot Spanish chick for the rest of the evening.
Piña Colada

1 quart pre-made pina colada mixer
16 oz. of light rum (cheap kind ladies!)
3 tablespoon vanilla coffee creamer
1 small can diced pineapple
5 cups ice

Toss it all in the blender. While blending you will OBVIOUSLY sing ‘If you like pina coladas’. Serve your tropical orgasm in a glass and garnish this mofo with some pineapple.

Brooke tells KTLA Morning News how to throw the perfect Oscars party with recipes for Ahi Tuna Salsa, Baby BLTs, Crock Pot Sausage Appetizers, Tortilla Pinwheels, Coconut Fondue, plus decorating ideas!

Birthday cake can be so boring. Today on Cheap n’ Easy™ you’ll learn how to make cupcakes that are baked in ice cream cones. And it’s not just the kids who’ll be eating these up.

Click here for the list of ingredients, preparation instructions and nutrition information.