I have recently developed an affinity for anything portable…snack packs, juice boxes, the Olsen twins, etc. I find that Oprah’s lessons on multitasking apply well to eating stuff whilst doing other things. Enter the Calzone: a close cousin of the pizza and still able to get married in Arkansas. Here is my favorite Calzone recipe…it tastes like a portable charcuterie platter and makes for a fantastic appetizer…and by appetizer I mean something that you can eat a lot of and call a meal.

Pear and Provolone Calzones

What you’ll need:

For the filling:

• 2 pears, thinly sliced
• 4oz. of Provolone cheese
• ½ cup candied walnuts
  4 tablespoons gorgonzola cheese
  2 tablespoons white truffle oil
  1 garlic clove, finely chopped
  ½ teaspoon salt
  ½ teaspoon sugar
  2 tablespoons olive oil
  1 teaspoon garlic salt

Calzone dough:

2 ½ cups bread flour
1 package self-rising yeast
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons finely granulated sugar
2 tablespoons olive oil

Directions

Preheat convection oven to 375 degrees.
Combine all dough ingredients, place a dish towel over the dough, and set aside. In a separate bowl combine the walnuts, gorgonzola cheese, truffle oil, garlic, salt, and sugar. Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface and cut into six equal squares. Place equal slices of pears and Provolone cheese on one half of each piece of dough. Top pears and Provolone with 2 tablespoons of the walnut mixture. Fold the dough square in half to make a triangle and close the edges by pressing down with your fingers or a fork. Brush each calzone with olive oil and sprinkle with garlic salt. Place calzones on a lightly greased cookie sheet. Bake in the oven for 17 minutes or until lightly browned.

My Dad is Greek and his favorite saying in the entire world is “You know Brooke, the Greeks invented _____________”. Fill in the blank with anything you want. Seriously ANYTHING. Air? Crack? The known Universe? Strippers? The Theory of Relativity*? You name it and my Dad will tell you it was invented by the Greeks. Well Papa, here is an actual dish inspired by your country men. Yassou bitches!

*Einstein did that one Dad, not Einsteinpapadopoulus.

What you’ll need:

• 1 box of penne pasta
• 1 cup of pitted black olives, diced
• 2 cups of spinach
• 1 ½ cups of mozzarella cheese
• 1 jar of marinara sauce
• ½ cup of Parmesan cheese
• 2 chicken breasts, diced into small cubes
• 1 cup of crumbled feta cheese
• olive oil

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Bring a large pot of water to a boil, and make sure you salt the water. Add the penne pasta and cook for about 6-8 minutes.

Heat the olive oil in a large skillet, add the chicken and cook until the outside has a deep caramel color. In a 9 x 13 pan or casserole dish, combine the cooked penne pasta, chicken, marinara sauce, spinach, black olives, feta cheese and 1 cup of the mozzarella cheese. Even out the ingredients and layer the top with the remaining mozzarella cheese. Sprinkle the Parmesan cheese on top and place in the oven.

Cook for about 20 minutes, until the cheese has melted and all the ingredients have been heated through.

I have found the most Jewish of all sandwiches…The Lox Sammy! I have an old-school Jewish Mother-in-law to whom if I said that I had just won the Pulitzer Prize, she would ask why I had not won the Nobel Prize. Anything I do could always be done better if she had done it. Well not this! This sandwich is a whole new way to do the old-school Lox and bagels. It feels more delicate and less Woody Allen. I am serving this at our next disfunction.

P.S. If you are my mother-in-law and you are reading this, I would like to say 3 things…

1. I love you.

2. You scare me and sometimes when you come into a room I pee a little.

3. I knew you read my blog! See, I am not some “dumb blonde idiot”. I am a funny dumb blonde idiot!

What you’ll need:

* 4 slices of whole wheat bread

* 4 thin strips of Smoked Salmon

* Avocado, sliced

* 1 tbsp of lemon juice

* 1 cup of plain cream cheese

* 1 tbsp of capers, diced

* Chives, chopped

Directions:

Combine the cream cheese, chopped chives, lemon juice, and capers in bowl. Using an electric mixer, whip the ingredients until the consistency becomes light and fluffy.

Place the sliced bread on the counter top and pound lightly with a cutting board until the bread becomes thin.  Toast the bread for about 30 seconds on each side (depending on how you like it).

Spread the cream cheese mixture on one slice of toast, layer with the smoked salmon and top with avocado slices. You can add the second piece of bread on top, or serve it open- faced.

Traditions make our life richer, deeper, and give us something to look forward to in life. One of the greatest traditions my Mom started when I was a kid was the “breakfast dinner”. Once a month we would put our pajamas on early in the evening and make breakfast for dinner. It is one of my most vivid childhood memories and dammit I’m bringing it back in all its glory. There will be cartoons, jammies with feet attached, and pancakes.

You can start this tradition too! You can do it with your family, your roommate, or someone you met on eHarmony. Actually you probably shouldn’t do it on an eHarmony first date scenario because it says “Hey this is what you have to look forward to if you and I make this thing work …me in pajamas at 6pm, eating an unacceptable amount of carbs while watching cartoons”.

These oven baked eggs are hearty enough to serve for your breakfast dinner and they only leave one dish to clean up. Tradition…Tradition! (Please sing this part of the post as if you were Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof).

What you’ll need

• 4 eggs
• 2 Ovenproof bowls
• 1 cup of tomato sauce
• Olive oil
• Salt & pepper
• Parmesan Cheese
• Fresh Basil, chopped

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Add ½ cup of tomato sauce into each ovenproof bowl. Crack 2 eggs into each of the bowls and be careful not to break the yolks. Drizzle the eggs with olive oil, salt, and pepper. Bake the eggs in the oven for about 15 minutes or until the whites have set. Remove from the oven and sprinkle with freshly grated parmesan cheese. You can garnish the dish with some roughly chopped fresh basil.

Serve with warm Focaccia bread.

Heirloom tomatoes are in season and are very easy to find at your local farmer’s market.  Also always in season…LAZY. Some people look great in pastels, others in bright colors, me I look good in lazy. This is a dish that works damn well for your lazy days.  Plus if the delivery guy from Pizza Hut knows your name, your embarrassing yourself sister! Get some pride…make bruschetta.

Ingredients:

• 4 Heirloom tomatoes (any variety, chopped)
• 1 Loaf of Ciabbatta Bread (cut into slices)
• 1 tablespoon of butter
• Fresh Basil
• 1 clove of garlic, minced
• Olive oil
• Balsamic Vinegar
• Salt & Pepper
• Parmesan cheese (optional)

In a large bowl combine the tomatoes, garlic, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and season with salt and pepper. Chop the fresh basil into thin strips and toss into the mixture. Melt the butter on a large skillet and grill the ciabatta until crispy and golden brown.  Arrange the bread on a serving dish, and spoon the tomato mixture on top of each slice. You can grate some Parmesan cheese on top for added flavor.

What you’ll need:

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 1/4 tsp baking soda
• 1 1/4 tsp salt
• 1 1/4 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
• A little less than 1 ½ cups of sugar
• 1 1/4 cups buttermilk
• 3 eggs
• 2 ½ tbsp of Blue Food Coloring
• 1 1/4 tsp white vinegar
• 1 1/4 tsp vanilla extract
• 1/8 cup water

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Sift together flour, baking soda, salt, and cocoa powder into a bowl and set aside.

In a large bowl mix the oil, sugar, and buttermilk. Add eggs, food coloring, vinegar, vanilla and water and mix well. Add the dry ingredients a little bit at a time and mix at low speed until combined. Don’t over mix the batter or it will become tough.

Line your cupcake pan with paper liners of your choice and use a spoon to scoop the batter into the liners.

Bake for about 20 to 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Let them cool.

Cream cheese frosting:

• 1 Stick of butter, room temperature
• 8 oz of cream cheese, room temperature
• 2 – 3 cups of powdered sugar
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

Using an electric mixer, combine the butter and cream cheese until smooth. Mix in the vanilla. Slowly add the sugar while mixing. The frosting will become thicker as you add the sugar. Add as much or as little sugar as you prefer. (It really depends on how sweet you like your frosting to be).

Spiced Rubbed Flank Steak

What you’ll need:

2 lb Flank Steak

For the rub:

1/2 cup paprika

3 tbsp cayenne pepper

5 tbsp freshly ground black pepper

6 tbsp garlic powder

3 tbsp onion powder

6 tbsp Kosher salt

2 1/2 tbsp dried oregano

This spice rub will yield about 2 cups. You can store in an airtight container and use it again.

Directions:

Once you have made the rub, sprinkle it generously on both sides of the steak. Turn on your grill to medium high heat. Cook the steak for about 6 minutes on each side (turning only once). Remove from the grill and cover with aluminum foil. Let it rest for 5-10 minutes, this will allow the juices to stay inside and keep the meat moist when you cut into it.

Arugula Salad with Lemon Vinaigrette and Parmesan Cheese

For the dressing:

1/2 cup olive oil

3 tbsp fresh lemon juice

1 tbsp minced shallots

Fresh Parmesan cheese

Kosher salt & freshly ground pepper

In a small bowl, whisk in the lemon juice, olive oil, shallots, salt and pepper.

Plate the arugula and lightly dress with the lemon vinaigrette. Add fresh slices of Parmesan cheese on top.

For all the carb lovers out there: I love serving this dish with a Black Olive Rustic Bread, but you can choose any bread you like from your local bakery.

Oh Spain…

You guys invented my 2 favorite things in the world: Tapas and Latin Lovers. I am quite short in the Latin Lovers department so I have decided to go heavy on the Tapas.

In honor of the new FIFA World Cup Champions, I thought it would be appropriate to have a little Spanish shindig. Tapas are very easy to make, they require a small number of ingredients, and pack huge flavor. Here are some of my favorites…Tapas that is…not Latin lovers.

The Menu:

Raspberry-Peach White Wine Sangria:

• -1 cup Grand Marnier

• -1 bottle Sauvignon Blanc

• -12 oz of sparkling water

• -1 cup of fresh raspberries

• -2 peaches, sliced thin

• -2 tbsp of fresh mint, chopped

In a large pitcher, pour in the Sauvignon Blanc, Grand Marnier, and sparkling water. Stir in the peaches, raspberries and fresh mint. Serve it up, or over ice.

Chorizo & Quail egg Crostini with Romesco

• -1 Sourdough Baguette (cut in diagonal slices)
• -12 Quail Eggs
• -Mild Paprika
• -1 Cured ready- to- eat Chorizo
• -Romesco Sauce (traditional Spanish sauce made from nyoras, which are a sweeter and drier version of red peppers.)

Toast the crostini until golden brown. Spread 1 teaspoon of Romesco sauce on the toast and top with sliced chorizo.

Heat some olive oil on a skillet. Crack the eggs and cook on medium heat until the egg whites have set. Drain the eggs on paper towels and then lay them over the chorizo crostini. Lightly dust with paprika, salt and pepper, and chop some chives for color!

Sundried Tomato & Goat Cheese Tarts

• -Puff pastry
• -1 zucchini (sliced into thin rounds)
• -Sun dried tomatoes (finely chopped)
• -1 clove of garlic (crushed)
• -Goat cheese

Cut puff pastry into rounds and place on a dampened cookie sheet. Prick the pastry with a fork 3 times to make sure it doesn’t all puff up. In a skillet, cook the zucchini rounds until golden brown, and then add garlic. Remove from the heat. Place the zucchini and garlic mixture on top of each pastry circle. Add the sundried tomatoes and a spoonful of goat cheese.Make sure there is at least ½ inch border on each pastry round.

Bake for 10-15 minutes or until golden.

Triple Chocolate Fondue with Mantecados

• -White chocolate
• -Dark chocolate
• -Milk chocolate
• -Mantecados (traditional Spanish cookie. If you can’t find these I would recommend shortbread or pound cake)

Melt the chocolate on the stove and serve immediately. Dip the Mantecado cookies, green apples, strawberries, bananas or any other fruit of your choice.

All right, I know I am gonna get a few angry emails over this statement but what the hell…

The French scare the shit out of me, seriously.  Ya’all seem pissed off a lot. And I am not sure why. You got the best food, fashion, and …wait for it…LIQUOR. So attitudinal French people I would like to give you the fantastic French cocktail below and a suggestion…get a buzz, lose the ‘tude and Happy Bastille Day!

What you’ll need:

• 1 ½  shots of  Grey Goose Pear Vodka
• 2 shots  of St. Germaine Liquor
• The juice  of one lemon wedge
• A splash of champagne

Fill a shaker with ice and add the vodka, St. Germaine, lemon juice and champagne. Shake well and strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a slice of pear or a lemon twist.

I am with a man whose family does not drink. Yes the universe has a sense of humor*.

I can’t really say ‘Hey guys! Do you want some water…with your water?’

These jazzy little ice cubes dress up anything including water for my in-laws.

Directions:

Fill an ice cube tray with water half way and add any of the following to brighten up any drink!

- Crystallized Ginger

- Rose Petals

-Lemon/Orange peel

-Mint

- Fresh berries

*Gotta be honest with you ‘Universe’…not that funny to me.