I would like to make an announcement…I have the smartest child on the planet. There is no hard evidence with which to back up this claim, more of gut feeling, but at any moment I am pretty sure Harvard is going to call and offer her spot in the 2011 class.  She is also quite gifted in the kitchen. This morning I made haystacks and when I stopped pouring the butterscotch chips into the bowl she let out a large burp which I interpreted as a “put more butterscotch in there, Lady” so I did…and it was a better finished project because of it.  I am just saying….

Here is the a recipe for Haystackies written in part by my daughter.

G-E-N-I-U-S. —————->

What you’ll Need:

1 bag butterscotch chips 

1 bag of milk chocolate chips

4 cups of chow mien noodles

1/2 cup of peanut butter

1 teaspoon teaspoon of cinnamon 

1 teaspoon of vanilla

Directions:

1. Place the peanut butter and butter scotch in the microwave for one minute (the butterscotch will only be partially melted)

2. Mix in vanilla and cinnamon

3. Stir in chow mien noodles and chocolate chips

4. Dump spoon size chunks onto a wax paper lined cookie sheet and place in the freezer for 45 minutes

5. Make sure no one whose opinion about you matters is in the general vicinity

6. Lick the bowl 

7. Lick the spoon

8. Remove the haystackies from the freezer and allow to adjust to room temperature 

9. EAT!

10.  ENJOY!

Everywhere you look this summer people are drooling over cupcakes- waiting hours to get their hands on some Sprinkles, swapping their traditional tiers for wedding cupcakes and even good ol Baskin Robbins is now offering ice cream shaped cupcakes.  Here at Things Your Mother Never Taught You, we like to think outside the box or in this case, outside the pan, so today I bring you the Ice Cream Cone Cupcake.  It’s a cupcake baked into an ice cream cone (and it’s awesome). If anyone is interested here are a couple more things I would like to see in combo…

1- The all chocolate-sit on your couch and lose weight diet

2- The No-hangover double vodka martini

3-The self esteem building drunk dial…which usually follows the No-hangover martini…;)

Click here to learn how to make an Ice Cream Cone Cupcake.  In the meantime I’ll work on these other gems in my laboratory kitchen.

Look, I want to like watching Soccer, the guys are HOT and the whole Euro undercurrent feels very sophisticated.  But mostly I just don’t want to be some Cheesy American who says ‘The World Cup is on?  Is that a big deal?”  But I’ve got to be honest, to me it is like a hockey game with no prospect of someone getting the shit kicked out of them.  The chance of seeing more than a few goals is slim to none and Mama needs more action than that. So in typical default mode I feel food or liquor will spice it up a bit for me…so I share with you now a little thing called Game Day Fondue(click for video)…serve it with over priced European beer and you will practically feel like you are at the football* match.

*Look who’s catching on!!!!

Having a new baby at home is hands down the most fun I have ever had, but it leaves little time for anything else.  I am not going to lie to you, my personal hygiene is beginning to come into question due to my lack of time to shower. Whatever…hand sanitizer, deodorant, and a breath mint IS like a shower when you have a newborn.  That being said, ONE dish meals are my crack right now*.  They take less time to prepare, have less clean up, and allow me to shove food down my throat in between ‘nap times’ that actually resembles a real meal.  Here is one of favorites…Shepards Pie.

*PLEASE do not write me telling me how crack is bad for the baby or how crack references are insensitive or how your friend who is a recovering crackhead is offended by my joke. I haven’t slept and I have no patience for people who do not find crack jokes funny even if they are an easy way out.  

If you want to lose all sense of personal dignity you can throw some gravy on this puppy. I warn you you will not feel real great about yourself…but you will probably go into a food coma so you won’t even be awake to acknowledge your low self esteem.

To my dear friends and readers of Things Your Mother Never Taught You:

Thank you for your patience over the last couple of days, as many of you know we had a beautiful, healthy and perfect little baby girl last week.   We’re just getting to know each other and settle into our lives together, but expect posting to resume over the next few days.

Thanks again for all the love and support.  My cup truly runneth over.

Love,

Brooke Peterson